FOOD: Shake 'N' Pour Bisquick Pancakes

Tonight I made pancakes for dinner topped with sliced bananas and blueberry syrup.



I had bought it originally for the packaging -- very cute and attractive -- and it turned out to be really easy to use, and the pancakes turned out very very good. Before, when I'd make pancakes, the first couple would be throw-aways, but with this SNP, they were so consistent and beautiful.

Anyways, today I've been fighting feeling depressed. I'm going to try to get back with a running camp. The structure and discipline involved is needed to get me back into shape, and the personal interactions will be good for me.

I guess that I do want too much -- I'm difficult and high-maintenance. The thing is that I do know it and really don't want to impose myself onto others. Low self-esteem? Perhaps, but I really am a great person. I'm very interesting in the Big Brother, voyeuristic sense. Low self-confidence? I just need to get out more. I keep having preconceptions, such as people should go out with friends, to share experiences, but then when I think about that, I get anxiety from thinking about things not happening "correctly". Yeah, perhaps there's a drug out there that can help me chill... mellow out. I really want to get off the meds though. Friggin' driving me crazy.

Anyways, at least the eating's going well. I got three good meals in: cereal, meatloaf and rice, ice cream, and pancakes. We'll try to make it two days in a row tomorrow.