This was the second movie of the afternoon, and it was enough. This movie hurt my head on so many levels -- the cheese factor was high (omg, all of the shameless cameos) and the fact that there was no story. There was no real purpose, and no plausibility.
Yeah, I know... I'm asking for plausibility from a movie about a guy who turns into an huge green monster when excited. But the way the movie was presented, it required at least a smidgen of "buy-in" from the audience, and it just sucked in that department.
And it's not just small things -- allowing "Dr. Elizabeth Ross" as a valid username or having Norton 360 as a "high tech" computer application -- it was the limitless destruction without consequence or accountability, the incredible medical knowlegdge of the characters and the unsanitary labs/operating rooms they work in, the sad monotone performance by Liv Tyler. There was just so much Bad in this film, I wanted to tear out the portion of my brain that was still looking for value.
Granted, I'm sure that it's better than the Ang Lee version which I haven't seen, but this one was SO "Action-Packed" (read: LOUD) that I felt like I was over-extendedly tense for no reason. Seriously, they need to tone down the stock soundtrack (sorry, Craig Armstrong, but from Moulin Rouge! to this? What are you doing?). The sorry DP work and mindless editing also got on my nerves, and it made the movie look unrefined to me.
It was then that I realized what a kick-ass job The Bourne Ultimatum had done.
The only positive for me was Gen. Ross. I was trying to figure out who the actor was. He kinda looked like Paul Newman, but looking at a poster for the movie afterwards, I discovered that it was William Hurt. Great job with changing his look. But that was about it.
Immediately afterwards I felt like some Sex And The City was in order, just to cleanse the cinematic palette, I'm home now and will probably get a couple doses of Project Runway season 2 instead.
"The Incredible Hulk... Baaaaad".
but how did you get the microscope and
test tubes in the first place?