JOURNAL: Off the course.

It's 4:45pm, and I'm already home. This week at work hasn't worked out very well. And it's only Tuesday.

The week started with a confrontation with a drama princess co-worker. It was too early in the week and too early in the day to have to put up with something like that. I confronted her back. And it has been awkward since. She gets over things quickly, but I feel like a dog peed on my leg and just walked away.

And today, my goal was to implement some changes to all our systems, but there were seemingly constant resource conflicts, and my screws were coming loose, so I bailed. I left work early with the intent to go in later tonight to put in what would be half a third shift. This really is kind of ridiculous since tomorrow is one of our TM club's speech contests.

In some vent-letting yesterday, I learned of a TM member's reluctance to help the club with a simple task. I already kinda sensed waning interest in the club, but the fact that this person put up such a "I'll be helpful" front to me... makes me feel unappreciated and like the Little Red Hen.

I'm realizing more and more how difficult it is to read people, and perhaps I should just prepare myself and allow myself the mistakes I'm going to make with them. I'm just afraid that prolonged exposure to this kind of environment will turn me into a greater cynic than I already am, and that's not the type of person I want to be.

Hence, that's the reason I had to bail today. I knew that I could get more done without anyone else around. I knew that my current assignment didn't really require working with anyone else (lots of waiting for people though). And I should have acted earlier and decided earlier to adjust my schedule. Also, my days have been too busy lately, and I need some time to myself -- perhaps sometime this weekend. But right now, I need to start a Boston Butt slow-cooking, finish some minutes, and get some dinner and a couple hours sleep.

Good luck everybody.